Movie Review: Blades Of Glory by ME

Title: Blades of Glory
Starring: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Jenna Fischer
Directed By: Will Speck, Josh Gordon
Produced By: Marty Ewing, Ben Stiller, Stuart Cornfeld
Genre: Comedy and Sports
Release Date: March 30th, 2007
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image, and some drug references
Distributors: Paramount Pictures

When rival figure skaters Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) go ballistic in an embarrassing, no-holds-barred fight at the World Championships, they are stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years on, they’ve found a loophole that will allow them to compete: if they can put aside their differences, they can skate together – in pairs’ figure skating.

Will Ferrell movies aren't for everyone, including me. I am finding hard to write this review because I didn't care about it. Then again, I don't usually care for Will Ferrell in the first place. I do like him in ensemble casts like Old School and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and last years Stranger Than Fiction was one I enjoyed immensely. But the majority of his starring roles I can do without. Anyways, I just didn't care about the characters. There wasn't anything to like about them. Ferrell was his usual oblivious moron, with an added addiction: sex. Which he never gets from what I saw I might add. Heder I can't stand, I wish he would just go away. I'll give him some credit for Napoleon Dynamite, but I thought that was slightly overrated. Heder just keeps proving that he has no talent. For a comedy to work it either has to be a parody, satire or just have heart. This had none of those. It's hard to care for two complete idiots. I mean, you felt for Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber right? I got a few chuckles here and there but most were either ice skating jokes that went over my head or just plain weren't funny to me. Although it was kind of interesting to see wirework and CGI applied to the skating ring, but beyond that there wasn't much that appealed to me.

Besides Ferrell and Heder we get Jenna Fischer of The Office. She plays Heder's love interest who is supposed to be spying on them for her seemingly inbred siblings the Van Waldenbergs (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler). I can understand why she would do a film like this. With the popularity of The Office she is trying to get her name out there and I really can't blame her. She is the perfect sweetheart. But Craig T. Nelson, WTF were you thinking? Did you really need a paycheck that badly? I mean I know it's been a while, but come on! Have a little dignity. Romany Malco from The 40 Year Old Virgin makes an appereance as the dance instructor that choreographs Ferrell and Heder's routine and who should have gotten more screen time. Nick Swarsden and William Fichtner head up the rest of the first billed cast in what amounts to be stretched out cameos.

And here is the kicker, I even made sure to hit the bar and get a decent buzz going before I saw this, and it still wasn't funny! So I apologize for any vagueness to this review. I am sure that this one will do pretty well at the box office and encourage Ferrell and Heder to do more crappy comedies. It's movies like this that will lead us towards a society as portrayed in Idiocracy. I can even admit that I enjoyed Idiocracy more than Blades Of Glory. And I thought Idiocracy sucked.

My final thought is of the final shot. Just ridiculous. They fly off into the sunset, literally. Jets fire out of their boots and the roof opens and they fly away. Seriously.

Until Heder does Napoleon and Juliet,
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Mitch E
mitchemerson@hotmail.com